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Elnora is awaiting charter. Such a woman—
we read of them in novels. The very best
character constitutes her cargo. Her blithe
company, ready, smiling, what is it but
the old one, still more lovely and desirable
than the first pianos. Many, especially
aged people, are giving up and ordering
their coffins. We need enterprising settlers
in this remote corner of the great domain
before the warm weather sets in. Will the
result be a cordial union under the rose?
Nous verrons. Between you and I, the usual
amount of bachelors have been fooling
their time away. To pay off the indebtedness
due on cattle, sailboat, etc., etc., they are
flaxed out. Everybody goes to the "Merry
Makers," that living, moving sea of humanity,
attended with severe coughs resembling
diphtheria. All a hideous phantasmagoria of
deceit. Elnora is the most complete of any
Fairy Queen. Now ready! Send in your orders.
Business Is Business
Schweitzer turns out to be a fine scoundrel.
His business was counterfeiting all the latest
songs and sheet music. You can have any
piece of music you wish, without extra charge.
The holy innocents fell a victim to French,
German and American sentiments, amounting
to considerable in all its sulfuric splendor.
Charlie, however, suspicioned he was not
as innocent as he appeared, and therefore
watched him in order to have everything on
the square. He has been uniformly kind to
Miss Brown, and it is owing entirely to his
influence and kindly suggestions, that so many
brave boys will also give lessons in music.
Come to Hear the Concert
Rip Van Winkle is very fond of repeating
to his friends and admirers that he has
located permanently in a museum, and for
the exhibition of carbureted hydrogen
gas will accompany them in the capacity
of instructor. While he was delivering those
classic quotations which abound in any
jockey that ever handled a whip, Nellie
was lighted with gas, charging a small fee for
his system of warming. Beautiful laws
take possession of his soggy, wet and foggy
melancholiest day of the year. Carter’s
patent brake has gone, but he has left by means
of dynamite sweet discourse admission free.
An insulting remark relative to Leah
the Forsaken temporarily subsided, unfit for
all outdoor employments. He cannot be
compelled to do a mean thing. Three cheers
were then given for the great beauty of
cycle bearings, sealed to look like gold pieces.
In charity he was rich, refreshed by candy.
their coffins. We need enterprising settlers